Does the no contact rule work for short-term relationships? (2023)

No contact does not always work.

Whether it works (especially in short-term relationships) really depends on why she broke up with you.

Times when the no contact rule can work

Here are 2 examples of when the no contact rule can work after a short-term relationship has ended:

1. She broke up with you to see if you chase after her and get desperate

Sometimes a woman just isn't sure whether to keep investing in her new boyfriend or break up with him and find someone she can be more confident with.

Although she cares about her new boyfriend, certain aspects of his thinking and behavior make her wonder if he really is the right man for her.

For example: She decides to nag a bit in a relationship with a man (e.g. she's always complaining, making unnecessary drama about irrelevant things) to see if he can stand up to her in a dominant but loving way.

But instead of standing up to her and putting her back in her place in a loving way, he makes the mistake of being even nicer and sweeter to her, hoping that by doing so, she'll treat him well.

She had hoped to see that he had the courage to stand up for himself and get her to respect him, but he failed that test.

Now she feels she is the more dominant in the relationship, which causes her to feel sexually repulsed by him.

she starts to think"He's just too nice all the time. No matter how bad I behave, he just lets me get away with it. Maybe it's because he's scared I'll drop him. Why isn't he more convinced of his worth to me? Why does he have to doubt himself like that? Maybe he's not the right one for me after all. Maybe I'm too good for him. I wish it wasn't, but I have to follow my heart. My heart tells me he was probably lucky with me and he knows it.”

Then she breaks up with him and waits to see how he will react.

When he becomes desperate and starts chasing her in needy ways, she will choose to leave him for good because it reassures her that she is probably just too good for him.

On the other hand, if she accepts the breakup, says goodbye, and doesn't contact her for a week, then it may impress her and make her want to hear from him.

In such a case, the no-contact rule can work.

By the way: You don't have to wait 30 or 60 days to contact them.

7 days is more than enough because it proves the point (meaning you're not frantically chasing it).

In a case like this, your ex is just testing if you lose your confidence and hand over all your power to her (i.e., hit on her, promise to change what she wants).

So if you ignore her and focus on living a fun, happy life without her for a week and then let her find out via social media and/or mutual friends, she will naturally look up to you with respect again.

She will then begin to feel attraction and love for you, drop her guard and open up to giving the relationship another chance.

Another example of when the no contact rule can work after a short-term relationship ends is when…

2. She's still very much in love with you but is afraid of getting hurt if she commits

Sometimes a woman falls in love with a man very quickly (e.g. they've only been dating a few weeks and she already envisions moving in with him, marrying him, or having a baby with him).

This can make her panic (especially if she is inexperienced in relationships or has been badly hurt by another man before) and she may start thinking:"I can't risk being hurt again. I need to break up with him before it gets too serious and I end up heartbroken. It's probably for the best that I just stay single. I hate it when my heart is broken."

She breaks up with him before he can break up with her to protect herself from possibly being hurt by him in the future.

If this is the case between you and your ex, the no contact rule may work on her.

Not hearing from you for 1-3 weeks will give her enough time to realize how much she loves and misses you.

She might then start thinking something like:"I want him back. I can't take the pain of not having him in my life anymore. I screwed up. I allowed my fear of being hurt to ruin the best relationship I've ever had. I gotta get him back before he finds a new girl."

She may then try to contact you by texting you to say hello, or happily answering your text or call if you answer.

Times when the no contact rule doesn't work

Here are 7 examples of when the no contact rule doesn't work after breaking up a short-term relationship:

1. She's no longer attracted to you

If a woman has lost touch with her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for a man, then she won't really mind if he ignores her for 30 or 60 days (i.e. the typical amount of time many people ignore their ex). much at all.

This is especially true if the relationship isn't fully established (i.e., relatively new, maybe only a few weeks to a few months old) and she's not fully in love with him yet.

Why?

The kind of love you experience in the beginning is very different than falling in love in a way that lasts a lifetime.

New love feels amazing, but properly established, deep love in a long-term relationship is so much stronger and so much harder to let go.

So if your relationship hasn't been properly established, she may not care if you cut ties and will just focus on finding a new man to move on with.

If you want her back, you have a much better chance of getting her back by actively interacting with her (via text, on social media, and most importantly over the phone and in person) and rekindling her feelings for you.

The more respect and attraction you can convey to her during interactions with you, the more open she will be to getting back with you.

However, if you just ignore her when she no longer has strong feelings for you, she probably won't even give you a thought after the first few days.

This is especially true if she's the one who broke up with you and she knew (in her mind) why she left you.

If she knows she felt repelled by you (e.g., because you were insecure), she will remember that and just try to move on with a man who is more confident and emotionally secure.

The next example of when the no contact rule doesn't work after breaking up a short-term relationship is when…

2. She can easily move on without you

If a woman knows that she can easily find a substitute (e.g. she is pretty, many men like her, she knows how to flirt and get men interested) then it will not be a big problem for her, nothing to hear from you .

She knows all she has to do is go on a dating app (e.g. Tinder) or website, go to a bar or nightclub, or pick up a hobby that's mostly male-oriented, and any number of men will turn her on .

She can then make her choices of men for sex, dating, or a relationship.

So while you might be sitting at home counting the days without contact off your calendar (e.g. 30 to 60 days), by the time you contact her she will probably have moved on.

Remember, it's a lot easier to change a woman's feelings when you actively interact with her and make her feel attracted to you again than it is to just cut ties and hope she misses you.

If you walk out of her life when she's not attracted to you, she won't really care.

The next example of when the no contact rule typically doesn't work after a short-term relationship breaks up is when…

3. She is looking for true love

Initially, a woman could start a relationship with a man and enjoy it because the sex between them is great, they have a lot of fun together and he is interesting to hang out with.

However, if all that really exists between them is the spark of a new romance and love doesn't develop over time, at some point she will question whether or not she wants to stay with him for the long haul.

Women know that being genuinely in love with each other is essential to a lifelong relationship.

However, it is not enough if the man really loves her.

It has to be mutual.

So if a man couldn't get her to really fall in love with him (e.g. because he was too insecure), then eventually a woman will come to the point where she will break up with him.

She will then try to find a new man who can lead him and her to deeper feelings of love over time until they are truly inseparable and then stay together for life.

She won't feel the need to get back to her ex just because he doesn't contact her.

She wants to experience true love and find a relationship that can last a lifetime.

However, not all women are like that, which is why the next example is also very important to understand…

3. She enjoys being single and will not chase a guy back

Some women don't want to commit themselves.

They just want to have fun, fall in love, break up and be free for many years until maybe someday they decide to settle down.

For now, though, she may be enjoying the freedom of being able to...

• Stay out late partying with your single friends.
• Having sex with another guy whenever she wants.
• No compromises on what she wants to do.
• Have no relationship obligations.
• Date whoever she wants, whenever she wants.
• Be irresponsible with her life and just focus on having fun.

So, instead of missing her ex and wanting him back if he doesn't contact her, she will just move on with enjoying life without him.

Then, after 30 to 60 days, when he calls her to try to get her back, there's a good chance she'll say something like:"I'm sorry, but I'm not ready for a serious relationship. I prefer to be single. i am having so much fun So, look... maybe there's a chance we can get back together sometime in the future. But no, I don't want a relationship. I wish you all the best."

Then he just wasted 30 or 60 days sitting around hoping that she would miss him and run back to him.

Still, she just got on with her life and might have hooked up with a new guy or guys, not caring that her ex didn't contact her.

5. She's had a lot of experience with breakups and knows the pain will pass

When a woman experiences breakups, she will know that no matter how sad, lonely, and depressed she may feel because her ex is not contacting her, those feelings will eventually fade.

Rather than letting his silence get to her, she usually focuses on doing things that will help her get over him even faster (like spending more time with her single friends and flirting with guys).

Then, after a few weeks or months, when her ex contacts her, she may have healed enough to say something like:"I'm sorry, but it's too late for us now. I really thought you cared about me, but not hearing from you all this time made me realize we weren't made for each other. I'm over you now so please don't call me again."

Another example where cutting off contact for 30 or 60 days is unlikely to work is if…

6. She doesn't think you will change

When a woman gets the feeling that her ex can't change or doesn't even know how or what to change (e.g. to be like that), she won't waste time thinking about him if he stops after her breakup , to contact You.

Instead, she will focus on getting over him completely and opening up to meeting a new man.

After wasting 30 or 60 days waiting in the background (while she most likely moves), he will then attempt to contact her.

If she responds and is willing to talk to him, she'll quickly realize that he really hasn't changed (i.e. he's still not emotionally manly enough. He's still too insecure), and then things get even harder than before to get her back.

So, if you want your ex back, you need to make some attractive changes in the way you think and behave first.

Get ready to dress her right again based on the new and improved man you've become.

Then interact with her and let her experience it.

By the way…

You don't have to waste 30 or 60 days for this.

If you keep learning from me here at The Modern Man, you'll get it done within a few days and then be ready to contact her, or in a week if you're willing to wait that long.

However, you don't have to wait 1-2 months before making a move.

If you wait that long to contact her and start the ex-back process, she will most likely move on without you.

Another example of when the no contact rule doesn't work so well is when…

7. She knows you don't understand what she really wants in a guy

Sometimes a woman will break up with a guy without really telling him exactly what put her off.

She might just say, "I think we shouldn't see each other anymore," or "I don't have feelings for you anymore. Let's just be friends" to end the relationship.

What she doesn't tell him, however, is that...

• He was confident when she met him, but after a while he began to doubt his attractiveness to her and became more needy and clingy as a result. This put her off because she wants a confident man who believes in his attractiveness and worth to her.
• She was attracted to him because he was nice and sweet, but soon realized that he wasn't manly enough for her. She wants a guy who's good to her, but will also make her be good to him. She doesn't want a guy chasing after her all the time.
• The spark between them quickly faded and he made her feel like a sexy, desirable woman and treated her like a neutral friend. She wants a man who has the ability to keep the spark alive (e.g. by being very confident and making her feel girly compared to his masculine aura and demeanor).
• He put a lot of effort into chasing her and getting her to be his girl and it was fun at first but she got bored quickly. She wants a guy who's more of a challenge, so she feels the need to impress him as well, instead of making it so one-sided.

So when her ex uses the no contact rule to hopefully get her back, he doesn't.

She just doesn't care enough about losing him because she knows he doesn't even understand how to attract her in the way that really matters to her.

When the no contact rule can backfire

The goal of the no contact rule is to hopefully make your ex miss you like crazy and want you back.

But that's not how it works most of the time.

In fact, in most cases, doing so will do a guy more harm than good.

For example:

1. If he uses the no-contact approach for so long, he develops insecurities

For example:

• He begins to feel unworthy of her, believing that the reason she isn't contacting him is because she's too good for him.
• He loses confidence in his attractiveness to other women because he begins to see them as hard to get or hard to keep.
• He ends up thinking of his ex as"the one that got away"and believes that his relationship life will never be happy with a new woman or that he will never get his ex back.

Don't let this guy be you.

Be a man of action and take it back now.

Do not use the no contact rule for more than 3 to 7 days.

Get the job done fast.

Waiting longer than a week is usually a waste of time and can make you lose faith every day that she won't get back to you or come back.

2. Don't move before it's too late

Even if a woman still has feelings for her ex, it's unlikely she'll wait forever for him to contact her, right?

She will continue.

At first she might long for him and even be very sad that he doesn't call her, but after a while she just starts thinking things like:"Well, he obviously doesn't care for me the way I care for him. I think it's really over between us and I need to stop putting myself through this pain. It's time for me to accept the truth that he won't call me. He probably met someone else and forgot all about me. So I have to stop holding back and move on.”

She will then make an effort to get over you completely, by going out when invited by her single friends or co-workers, or by dating and hooking up with new men and getting a new boyfriend.

3. He doesn't improve his ability to attract her the next time he interacts with her

When a guy applies the no contact rule and ends up calling his ex, she usually won't be thrilled to meet him if he's still offering her the same old attraction experience as before (e.g. he's still not very confident, she can still dominate him during a conversation).

So she doesn't feel motivated to get back together with him and then rejects him.

Then the thinking is,"What happened? Why didn't No Contact work? Why doesn't she want me back? I figured I just had to ignore her for 30 or 60 days and it would do!?"

The reason it didn't work is because he used the same old approach to attraction that got him dumped in the first place.

So to them, he's still the same guy he was 30 (or 60) days ago (e.g., insecure, emotionally immature, cowardly, and dimwitted).

He just isn't able to get her to have the kind of feelings she wants to feel.

So she rejects him.

Here's the thing...

If you want to win your ex back, make sure you use the time in between to change and improve quickly (e.g. others, more emotionally masculine, understand exactly how to create a sexual vibe when talking to her).

Then, when you interact with her again, she will have a reason to want to be with you again (i.e., she will now be attracted and attracted to you).

By the way…

Then, after that interaction, if you ignore them for a few days instead of thinking"Cool! I'm glad he's leaving me alone. I can move on without having to get angry with him."she will wonder"Why do I miss him all of a sudden? Why am I so worried about losing him now?”and she will want to interact with you again.

As a result, you can easily get them back.