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Emotional neglect in marriage is something no one prays for or desires. Because neglect in marriage is often a horrible experience and aLack of emotional bond in marriageis a way to crash any relationship in record time.
Imagine for a second that you are a woman who feels neglected by her husband. His lack of emotional support is as clear as day and you have done everything you can to get his attention back on you. Can you feel the pain and pain that comes with these thoughts?
If the mere thought of being neglected by your husband provokes these reactions in you, can you imagine how the people who actually have to go through this experience are really feeling? It would be unimaginable!
If you have felt neglected in your marriage, then this article is definitely specially for you. In this article, we'll show you how to deal with these feelings, the signs of emotional neglect in marriage, and some proven strategies for overcoming emotional neglect in marriage.
What is Emotional Neglect in Marriage?
Before we delve into the detailed definition of marital emotional neglect, it is important to first understand what "marital neglect" means.Neglect as a form of abuse, is simply the failure to take proper care of someone.
While this comes with its fair share of mental and emotional trauma on the part of the recipient, neglect can be passive (when it comes from a place of ignorance or unintentional dissociation from a person) or active (when it is calculated, intentional, and intentional).
Marital neglect occurs when one (or both) parties in the marriage fail to take care of themselves and their families. It usually leads to aemotional separationor alienation and can lead to broken families in record time.
In a broader sense, emotional neglect in marriage occurs when one partner consistently fails to notice, care for, and respond to theirsthe emotional needs of the partner in a marriage.
As a result, the other partner spends most of their time feeling lost, alone, and (perhaps even) worthless in the marriage.
One of the main downsides to this form of emotional abuse (and other forms of emotional abuse more broadly) is thatThey are usually accompanied by other forms of abuse (such as physical abuse) after which the relationship can continue to go wrong.
Can a Marriage Survive Without an Emotional Bond?
The simple answer to that is “no”. While it is possible with some effort and physical exertion to stay in a relationship where there is no emotional connection, over time you may find that you want to get out of that marriage.
Therefore, one of the greatest challenges with emotional neglect in marriages is that if left unsolved, the marriage can end in onedivorce.
What is an example of emotional neglect?
To help you get a better mental picture of what emotional neglect really is, here is a graphic example of the scenario.
Imagine coming home from work after a long and horrible day. You're pissed off and can't wait to get back home and into your husband's arms.
Then you walk through the door and meet a husband who is so focused on something else that he doesn't even realize that everything you've said to him since you walked through the door has been one-word answers.
At this point, it's easy to dismiss it and call his answer "the result of a hard day's work."
However, imagine that this continues for the next few months and you even try to reach out to him only to be met with chastisement and a sense of defensiveness from him.
Were it not for this extended storyline of yoursHusband neglects his wifecause you to withdraw from him?
This is one of the most common scenarios that play out in many marriages; Scenarios of emotional neglect in marriages.
Is emotional neglect a reason for divorce?
The sad thing is, a quick search on Google doesn't turn up a "holy grail of divorce scenarios." So this question might be a bit difficult to answer.
AlthoughDivorces in America are generally categorized into no-fault and fault-based divorce scenarios, the ultimate choice of whether to quit and focus on fixing your life or to hold onto the reins of this marriage to an emotionally unavailable person is entirely yours.
However, before you make a final decision, take some time to consider each factor at play, such as your children's well-being, the level of trauma/abuse you have suffered, and any other factors that you feel are important .
25 signs of emotional neglect in marriage
Now that we've examined all of this, here are some of the classic signs of marital neglect.
1. Your feelings and thoughts are not heard or respected
If you feel like you've become a relic in your marriage (your feelings and opinions no longer matter to your spouse), it could be a sign that you're dealing with emotional neglect in your marriage.
2. You feel lonely
One of the emotional neglect symptoms in marriage is feeling lonely. Do you feel alone even when your partner is physically there? This can be a sign staring you in the face.
Related reading: Do you feel alone in a relationship?3. They seek outside support
One of the perks of being married is that you have someone who loves you and supports you completely.
However, when a time comes when you seek more than just stranger supportsupport of your spouse, it could be due to emotional neglect in the marriage.
4. Your spouse would rather support others than you
How does your spouse feel about you when it comes to choosing between you and others? Do they tend to support other people more than they support you?
If they do this, they may be neglecting you emotionally.
5. Your spouse cares more about friends and family
When it comes time to make things happen for their friends and family, they are always available and would do anything to make those goals happen. However, do not show the sameGrad an Engagementfor you could be a sign of emotional neglect.
6. Lack of physical intimacy
Even if it seems incoherentlack of physical closenesscould be a sign that your spouse is emotionally unresponsive to you.
This is the result of research documented by the National Library of MedicineThere is a strong correlation between sexual and emotional intimacyas it is easier and more sustainable for people to connect sexually when they are emotionally intimate.
What does that mean? This merely suggests that a lack of physical intimacy (in the absence of other factors such as declining health or increasing external pressures) could be a sign of emotional and physical neglect in a marriage.
7. No empathy
When a partner is going through hard times, they should be able to share their challenges with their spouse and receive empathy and meaningful support from them. If this is lacking in your marriage, it could be a sign that something is wrong.
8. You always get interrupted, even when what you're trying to say is important
This may seem small, but it says a lot about the state of your relationship every time.
When a person interrupts you, it may mean that they are not listening to you, consider what they have to say to be more important than what you say, or simply think you are bothering them.
Does your spouse treat you like this all the time? Then it can be a sign that there is oneLack of emotional intimacy in the relationship.
9. Dysfunctional communication
Communication is the basis of everyonesuccessful relationship. If you're feeling like you're struggling with communicating with your spouse, it could be because they're not as emotionally available as they used to be.
10. You are one of the last people to know the details of your spouse's life
You can go through big changes or even make them that you wouldn't know about. This can involve big changes like changing jobs or even getting a loan.
11. At extreme levels, you may not be aware of these changes at all
At other times, you may not even know about the changes your spouse has made until it's too late or until you hear about them from someone else.
For example, they might take out a loan and you wouldn't hear a word from them until the debt collectors came to take your fortune.
12. You just don't feel valued
Another classic sign of emotional neglect in marriage is feeling unappreciated. One of the things that would happen when you feel neglected by your husband or wife is that you start to feel unappreciated.
Does it feel like you try so hard and your spouse just turns a blind eye to all of them? That could be a sign right there.
Related reading: 10 things to do when you don't feel valued in a relationship13. Your spouse stops fighting or arguing with you
While this may seem like a dream come true, a sudden refusal to see you from their point of view may indicate your spouse is becoming emotionally disconnected from the marriage.
That's because fights and arguments are a sign that both parties are invested in the marriage and want to make things work.
Related reading:15 things to do when a guy ignores you after an argument14. Or you fight a lot more than usual
This is the flip side of the conversation raised from the last point.
If you find yourself fighting over everything (including things that you once would have settled through decent adult conversation), it may be a sign of emotional neglect in your marriage.
Suggested video: How to stop fighting in a relationship andresolve conflicts in marriage.
15. Your spouse will do anything to stay away from you
This can manifest itself in longer work hours, frequent breaks associated with solo travel, or simply sleeping in another bedroom (especially if this hasn't always been the norm for you).
16. You become more independent than usual
And that's not the right way. It's simply because trying to reach out to them only leaves you more and more emotionally disturbed and depressed. So you'd rather spend your time and effort figuring things out than confide in your spouse.
Related reading: How being too independent can destroy your relationship17. Your pile of secrets is growing
You used to be completely honest with your spouse, even when you screwed up.
However, one sign of emotional neglect in marriages is the abundance of secrets. As a husband who feels neglected by his wife (or vice versa), you would rather keep things to yourself than open up about them to your spouse.
18. Your spouse becomes overly critical
Another sign of emotional neglect in marriage is that your spouse may be overly critical of you.
At this point, nothing you do will ever satisfy or make them happy again, and it seems like they're on a never-ending quest to show you how wrong you are every time.
Related reading: 15 Critical Signs For Spouses And How To Deal With Them19. The silent treatment begins
Remember we already pointed out that emotional neglect can be passive or active, right?
Another clear sign of emotional neglect in marriages is the silent treatment you would receive from your spouse. Under these conditions, nothing you do would ever evoke a reaction from them again.
Related reading: Dealing with silence in marriage20. Your partner is starting to let up in taking care of themselves
Emotional neglect doesn't just affect the other person. It also takes its toll on the person doling it out in the marriage. Sooner or later the base valuetensions in marriagewill begin to reflect as your spouse's failure to take good care of yourself.
21. You start to withdraw
When you realize there is no moreemotional intimacyin the relationship, your knee-jerk reaction would be to withdraw; from your spouse, the relationship, and anything that reminds you of what's going on in your marriage.
22. Zero affection
Once emotional intimacy begins to wane, affection would wane with her. At some point, you may even have trouble feeling any form ofAffection for your spouse. This usually happens after the marriage has been emotionally neglected for a long time.
23. Super awkward conversations
When you finally pull yourself together and make some halfhearted attempts at communication, your conversations can be filled with awkward pauses, so many “um” and awkward moments of silence. This is usually the result of drifting apart over time.
24. You're suddenly walking around each other like eggshells
The little things that used to make you careless (like walking around the house in your underwear or stealing a piece of cookie from your spouse's plate during dinner) become unattractive to you.
On the other hand, your spouse seems to be moody all the time these days so you are not exactly sure what would upset him. You would rather hold your breath than be on the receiving end of her anger.
25. You are beginning to consider ending the marriage or seeking professional help
This is usually the final stage of emotional neglect in marriage. In addition, what is normally thought of as a breaking point; the point at which a person would make the decision to end it orseek professional help.
If you're at this point, you might want to take the next section of this article more seriously.
How to deal with emotional neglect in marriage
Here are a few pointers to help you sort your thoughts and define the most profitable direction to move in once you've confirmed that you're dealing with marital emotional neglect.
1. Take a while to process your feelings
It's okay to feel hurt and angry at your partner. If you don't process these feelings, you may be making the wrong decisions.
2. Try to communicate
This can be a little difficult given the communication gaps you may have noticed in your marriage. However, it's important to be open with your partner about how their actions have negatively impacted you.
Related reading: 10 Effective Relationship Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages3. If they are open to communication, suggest best practices
It's not enough to tell your spouse what you think they're doing wrong. Tell them what they need to do to make things right. This is where clearly formulated action plans come into play.
Then, in turn, encourage them to share what you need to do to make the marriage great again. That way they don't feel like you're trying to fit them into a construct they don't want to fit into.
Related reading: Open communication in a relationship: how it works4. Consider therapy
Under these conditions, therapy works wonders. Along with your spouse, you may want to set aside time to consult with a professional who will help you sort through your feelings and understand what is going on in your marriage.
Diploma
Emotional neglect in marriage, if left unchecked, can lead to breakdown and divorce. Consider the 25 signs we've discussed in this article if you feel like you're currently going through this in your marriage.
On the other hand, counseling and professional guidance from qualified therapists is a way to let go of the pain and move on with your life. To start therapy, click hereFind competent therapists in your area.